In this post I will attempt to describe the day to day life of somebody going into the bipolar mood episode, hypomania.
Last night I couldn’t sleep. My mind was too busy, I was too interested in what I was doing to want to go to sleep and when I got into bed and tried my mind was wide awake. I was flooded with happy thoughts and memories of things I have done that I am proud of. The thoughts came from nowhere and entered into my mind at such a pace, it filled me with joy.
This morning I woke up a bit late, despite hypomania reducing the need for sleep I struggle in the mornings if I haven’t slept for the right amount regardless. I know a lot of people are like this but this is not the usual understanding of mania. The reason this happens is your mind and body work at a higher rate so you need more rest to recover.
Once I woke up I felt happy, energetic and ready to take on the world.
Driving to work is usually my least favourite part of my day, I love my job but I hate my commute. The traffic is terrible and what should take 30 minutes takes 1hour+. Today was different. I noticed the lights on the car in front of me were brighter, more illuminated. The clouds in the sky with the sun peering behind it looked so pretty, reminding me of how much beauty there is in the world. I looked to the sun, ‘take me’ I thought to myself. Take me to that place where everything feels amazing and I feel all powerful. Driving along I was singing, dancing, laughing to myself and probably got some strange looks from the drivers around me.
I have no patience for the other drivers though, constantly in my way. I want to fly away and speed off regardless of speed limits, but I cannot and I begin to lose my patience.
At work I feel so positive, like everything is going brilliantly and there is nothing my team and I cannot achieve. I get loads done and take on each task with ease and enthusiasm.
Driving home I speak to my friend on the phone as I do every day on the way home, trying not to interrupt him with my constant advice turned ramblings. Feeling so lucky to have such a close friend among many others.
I get home and suddenly have no desire to socialise, I am far to engrossed in all of the things I want to do, write, draw, play games, research, make YouTube videos etc. I feel such an intense desire to do these things, simultaneously which is of course impossible. I cannot satisfy this need, I cannot stop and I do not want to. The intensity and desire to create and achieve increases the more I do. I feel inspired.
I am so happy, the world feels amazing to me and I feel so satisfied with every element of my life.
Sounds amazing right? It is, but there is a downside to hypomania. Hypomania is followed by one of two realities, the first is a full blown manic episode of you have bipolar 1 disorder. This can be particularly dangerous especially f you experience reckless behaviour or psychosis. The second harsh reality for bipolar 1 and 2 is the onset of depression. The horrible crash where not only do you have to come down from mania, but also experience depression when you are used to the highs of Hypomania.